Hello. When typing, there, I feel so much stressed. Oh yeah, it’s the feeling I have been living with. I know if my commas and periods are not in place, I will faint one day. Such is my life for every moment of the day. But I have to write in sanity; I want it to make sense.
Tensions are my friends, since the original ones that I had, left. Well, not all left; nor did these tensions just appear out of a sudden spark. Worries, thoughts, BRAIN…ahhh. I love what I think positively, because the creativeness in those thoughts is juicy and fruitful. But what should I do with those negative ones. Stresses that something will happen, tensions that creepily walk in a semi-circle over my forehead. I can feel the breathlessness in me. I can sense the shivering fear approaching my eyes. My ears getting fused off. Glad I am that I haven’t seen the stars yet. I keep thinking….oh deep down the throat. Why do I think so much? About everyone! I talk…but never listen to my own words. Do I see what picture I have created? All those fears are sucking up the woods in me like those fancy termites do.
Anyway, having glanced at a second of the time in my life, I wonder how did our elders react to such situations…however they did it, but one thing is sure, they are out of it…and considering that I also survived the historical years, I am still LIVING and not demoralized. I am seeing the picture of reality. This one person that sits besides me, peeping in my life every second, like a mosquito that so precisely stings me. This one confident person that I always misunderstand, this one person is named - The Reality. It hits hard when you choose to close your eyes on it.
But do I loose heart? I mean, if I loose heart, will there be another Ashneet to replace it? No! Everyone is here for their souls…no one can ever think of setting an EMI for lending their soul, heart, etc. I am precious in a way I am still unknown of.
So much with my talk…so much with the stress…so much with the tensions…I mean, you two are always here…bothering me…not letting me be me. Hence, I told my doctor that I still do not need her…I am confident I will surmount this mountain of stresses, and that person…the one person I have very much talked about - The Reality. As I walk this dark road of life, I have got no clue of the next step yet and see no brightness till date. But I haven’t forgotten to carry a torch with me…thus, even if I am not realizing what’s in my hands, I am accompanied with a hope that I still have the spark ignited in me.
